When I saw my gynecologist, I was told that everything was normal: “You’re an odd case— probably because you are new to sex. Your body just needs to get used to it.” Despite being reassured that nothing was wrong, I felt traumatized by my experience.
From then on, sex was painful. Always. I would feel a pain like sharp needles whenever I tried to have penetrative intercourse. The massive amounts of blood weren’t there to alert others that something was wrong, but the pain was always there to alert me.
I think it’s crucial to have open conversations around sexual health, especially when it comes to pain. To anyone who has struggled with painful sex— whether from Endo, PMS, or Vulvodynia— you know that there is a shame and fear that accompany it. I personally struggled with this for a long time.
This ongoing pain didn’t just affect partnered sex; It had such a profound negative impact on the way I saw myself as a woman. It changed the way I viewed my body and the way I showed up for myself in intimate moments. Unable to solve the problem that doctors insisted wasn’t a problem at all, I persevered through awful, painful sex. I was silent.
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